Mr Big

This is not a blog about getting fitter or bigger so if that is what you are looking for then I would skip this entry.

I'll start off by what inspired me to write again. A couple of days one of gyms members (I have named him Mr Big) came in with a friend wanting him to use the club I said its fifteen dollars in hearing this Mr Big went "Don't f@#$ around with me" he then walked into the gym and asked the gyms owner who was with one of his clients if he could get a free pass and got it after he got it he came back to the to the counter and said "you are an a@# h%#$" and took his friend in. . I am writing this to ask you to be nice think of self interest because this behavior does not serve you.

The old adage "Sticks and stones will break my bones but words won't hurt me" is bull crap everyone knows it. We live in a society where you you can not use sticks and stones or anything for that matter to harm others even a verbal threat physical harm carries with it legal consequences but words ... words can be flung at you freely words of rejection, disapproval, ingratitude words that inspire fear and guilt most of which are minor attacks that people can identify shield against but when someone with intent to harm you throws words at you with tone, body language and eye contact they can cut right through you. Mr Big knew exactly what he was doing and his intent was to harm me personally over enforcing things that are the same for all members.

Acting all nice to everyone all the time is certainly no way to live you are sure to have people stampede all over you if you live like that. He probably just had a really bad day and thinks that he is entitled to what he was demanding even if this were true and anyone coming to the club is entitled to using the place for free and I have something against him the price of entry to a gym is not worth acting this way, guys who beat and rape their wives make the same excuses.

My face and ways do not always show maturity I prefer to keep my hair short and stay clean shaven, I would rather defuse a serious conversation with a joke because I prefer smiles more then seriousness and I will watch hours of cartoons before I watch a minute of news or politics but I have been through things that make me think the world is often cruel and unfair and I know that most people go through these times. I do not wear my experiences as a badge of honor but I understand the importance of being gentle to others because you never know what they are going through ... you never know.

I ofcourse can not expect Mr Big to have the same values as I he is actually 10 years older then me and probably has better values that he has formed from his bigger set of life experiences but he should really think of self interest in this situation. There is Karma for one thing when you do bad onto others it comes back to you with a vengeance.

Maybe Karma is bit to mystical to believe in for some one as cool as Mr big but what of the wrath you can incur from the person on the receiving end. Being nice is not a selfless way to live it is actually very selfish. When you are rood to anyone and especially to someone service they will give it back to you even if it is not immediate and direct cooks will spit in your food, tellers will put you on hold forever then hang up, mechanics will charge you double, airline staff will give you the worst seats ... the list is endless. I have ways of striking back as well both direct and hidden.

At first glance it looks like I can not properly defend myself to attacks of this nature because it seems that I would be worried about my job. I also know that if I personally strike back people like Mr big will just go and complain to the person above me so people like this think they can try and act cool in front of their friends and assume they can get away with it. These assumptions are ludicrous I am more then capable of defending myself without dishonoring my organization or myself and in situations like this my employer will only side with me.

I could have just called security and in minutes I would have three very serious guys to talk on my behalf and at my request they could remove him from the club .... he would look so cool in front of his friend then. I could have his membership canceled with no refunds and if I really got me creative I could taunt him until he made a physical threat and I could go to the police I'd probably not get any charges from such an exercise but a visit at his home from the police would really cut him down to size. All this amongst other things are available to me.

All this is just imagination though I would not do any of this and I won't do this not because I think it is a high level of macho-ism to not strike back when you have tools to fight with I was tempted and it is certainly not out of a position of weakness. I choose not to act in this manner because I am grateful to the place I work at and to act in this manner will bring grief to my colleagues and other members who don't overestimate their entitlements are grateful to receive our services. Its also not in my nature to strike out in this manner not that it means I can not but if I did take these actions the mental energy of anger will destroy me inside and if somehow I managed to completely destroy my enemy the guilt of having done this to another person is something that I will carry for a long time. I would rather let it go because I prefer peace of mind over teaching anyone the error of his ways.

Peace of mind is a beautiful thing it means that I am not distracted by things I have done in the past and worried about what will happen tomorrow. It means I can appreciate a cool breeze, fall asleep easily, be able to concentrate my lifes important goals and people and that I am able to enjoy my past achievements, It means I can enjoy a cup of coffee with a friend while not complaining about the world or trying to justify my life. Peace of mind in general means joy and happiness I wonder if Mr big has any peace of mind.

My refusal to strike back does not mean that Mr big gets a get out of jail free card. The way we work here is that matters of such nature get reported and recorded. I am merely one limb of a much larger animal an animal that understands that to damage one of its limbs is to damage the whole, it also understands that to tolerate insects in your house means to watch the multiply exponentially and that one rotten apple will spoil the whole bag. I got a few more but I thinks that is enough metaphors for one paragraph but lets just say that my colleges will be keeping a vigilant eye on this person and his friends from now onwards and a lot of extras that he was getting before he showed his true colors will no longer be available I do not even have to do anything.

.... alas the time has come for me to let go it was fun to hang onto it while I finished writing. In the end I can look down on Mr big with a mixture of superiority and pity ... for all his years he has not learned some of the most important rules of being a man.

• Modesty and gratitude will always win you more cooperation and respect then arrogance and displays of power against those that seem weaker.
• Anger not controlled and directed properly will hurt you 10 times more then then the person you are directing it towards.

Thanks for reading and be nice its the way to be

I wish you all lots of laughter and good fortune for the new year.